A Boca Raton Oscar Night

By Lori "Gizzy" Reales

I made the decision to stay in Boca Raton with my parents Carole and Lloyd - “Lloyd all Null and Void” - this Magical Oscar Night 2005. I have missed out on the East Coast Oscar gatherings for three years now and darn it if I wasn’t going to make my own party. It began with a Champagne Sunday Brunch in which Lloyd and I drank a few too many glasses of champagne. We ended up in the back seat laughing as Carole drove us home like the chauffeur. I guess I should have remembered that this is the Oscars, not the Golden Globes. But the images of Winona Ryder chugging wine, chasing after the “garcons” as she stood by Matt Damon’s side when he was nominated for the Talented Mr. Ripley is burned in my memory. It entices me to follow my misguided inclinations and pretend like it’s the Golden Globes for any awards involving a statue.

Perhaps my delayed hang-over explains why the next leg of our Oscar Sunday extravaganza was rather anti-climactic. We went to see the 3:40 showing of The Aviator so I could be fully knowledgeable of all Oscar nominated movies before casting any opinions. I did see all of the major nominations minus Vera Drake. The Aviator was as I had predicted - excruciatingly long. The most entertaining part of the Boca Raton Muvico experience was watching a cat fight between two 70 year old women who wouldn’t move over to allow a couple to sit together. I spent most of the three hours looking at my watch and keeping Carole in check as she was falling asleep every 20 minutes and making her Mr. Snuffalapacus noises. By this point, the plans of getting my dad a rented tuxedo and mom a boa and tiara for the official Stafford Oscar party were out the window. We barely made it home in time to catch the pre-show.

If I could have any job in the world, I would be a singer. Anyone who has seen me karaoke knows there’s not a chance in hell that will ever happen. Second runner-up is a movie critic. A girl can dream. Lala’s definition of a good movie is 1. It makes me laugh my bootie off. This takes care of the Dodgeballs, Tommy Boy’s and Sixteen Candle’s of this world. No, Gedde Watanabe, is not Oscar material. But, where would we be without the line “No more yanky my wanky, the Donger need food!” 2. It moves me and makes me think about my life and the world around me in a different way. Examples of this are Lost In Translation, Braveheart, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Life is Beautiful. They are emotional, poignant and changed my paradigm of the world, or at least for the couple of days after I saw them. Granted this is all a matter of opinion, but just want you to know where I’m coming from.

With that said, the Oscars have always intrigued me in their decisions. I have a deep-rooted fear that the big Hollywood Movie that makes me feel empty will prevail and the true winners, the fearless producers, writers and directors will be left in the dust. Such was my fear this year with The Aviator. Hotel Rwanda, Finding Neverland, Sideways, Ray were all very unique and dynamic movies. Regardless of merit, the winners do come down to major campaigning as I’ve heard from a friend who is a member of the Academy. The Hollywood Reporter, which is owned by my employer, kicks butt with advertising around this time of year. My disillusionment emerged when Gwenny Paltrow won for Shakespeare in Love over Cate Blanchett in Elizabeth. “Is there any justice in this world?”, I cried over my Cosmo. Well, luckily, the Academy redeemed itself when Hillary Swank won for Boys Don’t Cry and I have a new found respect since then. Although I didn’t care for The Aviator, Cate was the only winner that I agreed with. As my husband says, “Its all about redemption!”

Anyone who knows what a sap I am can predict what my favorite movie was this year. Nothing has moved me like Million Dollar Baby since Shirley MacLaine was begging for her cancer-stricken daughter, Debra Winger, to get her morphine in Terms of Endearment. There is one scene in particular that spoke to me. I will refrain from saying anything more for those who have not seen it. But, I will say I embarrassed my husband with my overwhelming emotion and grunts. As a result, the best picture, best director, best supporting actor and best actress were completely appropriate in my mind. I loved Morgan Friedman’s speech, classy and simple. This movie was “Mo Cuishle” of the year.

The speech of the night goes to Jamie Foxx, who completely deserved the Best Actor award for Ray. This just in…..There is a little somethin’ somethin’ going on between Oprah and Jamie Foxx. There was an Oscars wrap-up show today and they hugged A LOT. The kind of hugs you have in 8th grade when you’re dancing to Crazy For You by Madonna and you just can’t let go. A Fondling Hug I call it. Stay tuned.

How upset must Michael Moore have been that he received absolutely no recognition for Farenheit 9/11?!? All because he was pompous enough to really believe that he should get Best Picture. Its called a documentary, Michael. But I do say that everything happens for a reason. One very well deserved award was Eternal Sunshine for best Original Screenplay. I love any movie about fate and the twisted way that this is revealed by Charlie Kauffman is brilliant. He also made me actually tolerate Jim Carey. On the other hand, how House of Flying Daggers didn’t get best cinematography is beyond me. While I felt it was lacking compared to Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, it was worth seeing just for another compelling girl power movie. Mostly the cinematography was just breath-taking. Foiled!

Lastly, I will say that I was very disappointed with Chris Rock as the host. I adore Billy Crystal and Steve Martin. I’ve always been fond of the satires of the Best Movie category and find them to be the most entertaining. If I was old enough to remember, I would say that Johnny Carson was my favorite just from the tribute to him. Also, what was up with the stars emerging out of the audience to present random awards like Best Animated Short. Was that to save time? I thought there was going to be smoke and “Xanadu” was going to come on at any minute.

After staying up until well after 12:00am and waking up at 4:30am to fly back to California, it was a memorable Oscars 2005! Until I can finagle my way into being a member, my voice will not be heard and it’s out of my hands. The Academy is like the all-knowing Confucius of the movie world. It is what it is. But, in the end, movies are an escape for everyone and a very subjective experience based on our own memories and experiences. So, as we go into the theatres to laugh until we almost pee our pants, explore twisted relationships, get scared from psychotic movies and cry like a man watching Rudy, have fun and enjoy the ride! And if its really bad, just close your eyes and pretend like you’re watching Basic Instinct for the 300th time, little boys!

When she's not busy stalking John Hughes and his family, Lori can be contacted at loristafford96@yahoo.com.